The Nightmare That is Grocery Shopping

Grocery shopping with a two-year old is like....like....like something horrible and hideously awful...but I can't think of a good enough analogy.  I put it off and put it off and put it off, until practically all there is to eat is jam, a couple of stale tostadas, one or two bread heels, and some random cans of tomato soup and pinto beans.

But every time it's the same...no matter the preparations of snacks, stashed candy, sippy cups, toys, etc.  He starts out in the seat with the buckle on and we happily jabber to each other... pointing out interesting things, etc.  But sooner than later, he slithers out of the belt and I am trying to persuade him back in, or man-handling him back in the belt amidst wails of protestation, or he wants to sit in the back of the cart, or he wants to walk with me, or push the cart, or sit on the little shelf thing at the bottom of the cart that was never meant to be a seat for a crazed toddler.

And we have fun and we play games and he helps me pick out things and throw, I mean place them carefully in the cart.  But then he gets bored and wants to eat all of the food including the package of bell peppers.  And then he tries to run away and I get looks from other shoppers.  So I put him on my shoulders and push the cart, read my list and collect groceries until my shoulders and neck ache so bad, I have to try another arrangement.

By the time checkout has come, he and I are both ready to be home and done.  I have run out of all of my distractions, bribes and stories and he knows it.  On my most recent visit, as I tried to hold him and load my groceries and pay...he was writhing and wriggling to get away and head butted me (accidentally) in the lip in the process.  I fought back tears...finished loading and headed out....only to have the cashier call me back because I hadn't finished paying.  Of course.  Luckily an older gentleman tapped me on the arm and told me how impressed he was with how much Q had helped me put the groceries on the conveyor belt.  It was nice of him.  I needed it too.

Then I walked out to the car....into the stifling heat that is STILL here and couldn't find the van.  I finally found it, loaded the groceries and the boy, and headed home only to unload them all two more times...once to the house and then again to their prospective homes (and the boy to his bed for a much needed nap).  By the time I was finished, I was hot, stressed, hungry, my shoulders and arms ached from chasing, holding and wrestling the little tot, and I was mentally and physically exhausted.  All because of GROCERY SHOPPING.  I loathe it.  And it really shouldn't be that hard...should it?  And it never, ever fails that I forget a handful of highly needed items.  Curses!

I suppose some would say that in a few years I will mourn the loss of the rambunctious, but utterly charming tyke on my grocery trips, as I meander pensively up and down the aisles at my own leisure.  And they would probably be right.  But for now it's time for another trip and I am scared...