Friday, October 15, 2010

The Nightmare That is Grocery Shopping

Grocery shopping with a two-year old is something horrible and hideously awful...but I can't think of a good enough analogy.  I put it off and put it off and put it off, until practically all there is to eat is jam, a couple of stale tostadas, one or two bread heels, and some random cans of tomato soup and pinto beans.

But every time it's the matter the preparations of snacks, stashed candy, sippy cups, toys, etc.  He starts out in the seat with the buckle on and we happily jabber to each other... pointing out interesting things, etc.  But sooner than later, he slithers out of the belt and I am trying to persuade him back in, or man-handling him back in the belt amidst wails of protestation, or he wants to sit in the back of the cart, or he wants to walk with me, or push the cart, or sit on the little shelf thing at the bottom of the cart that was never meant to be a seat for a crazed toddler.

And we have fun and we play games and he helps me pick out things and throw, I mean place them carefully in the cart.  But then he gets bored and wants to eat all of the food including the package of bell peppers.  And then he tries to run away and I get looks from other shoppers.  So I put him on my shoulders and push the cart, read my list and collect groceries until my shoulders and neck ache so bad, I have to try another arrangement.

By the time checkout has come, he and I are both ready to be home and done.  I have run out of all of my distractions, bribes and stories and he knows it.  On my most recent visit, as I tried to hold him and load my groceries and pay...he was writhing and wriggling to get away and head butted me (accidentally) in the lip in the process.  I fought back tears...finished loading and headed out....only to have the cashier call me back because I hadn't finished paying.  Of course.  Luckily an older gentleman tapped me on the arm and told me how impressed he was with how much Q had helped me put the groceries on the conveyor belt.  It was nice of him.  I needed it too.

Then I walked out to the car....into the stifling heat that is STILL here and couldn't find the van.  I finally found it, loaded the groceries and the boy, and headed home only to unload them all two more times...once to the house and then again to their prospective homes (and the boy to his bed for a much needed nap).  By the time I was finished, I was hot, stressed, hungry, my shoulders and arms ached from chasing, holding and wrestling the little tot, and I was mentally and physically exhausted.  All because of GROCERY SHOPPING.  I loathe it.  And it really shouldn't be that hard...should it?  And it never, ever fails that I forget a handful of highly needed items.  Curses!

I suppose some would say that in a few years I will mourn the loss of the rambunctious, but utterly charming tyke on my grocery trips, as I meander pensively up and down the aisles at my own leisure.  And they would probably be right.  But for now it's time for another trip and I am scared...


  1. Man, I hate going to the grocery store - even unencumbered, but I shall never complain again! My hat goes off to ya, Lou. In order to convince myself to go to the store, I've tried to focus on the luxury of not only having food at our fingertips, but the money to buy it as well. Remember when we used to go to the store after working at Christensen's? I hated it back then and still hate it now, but it was sure nice to have a buddy to go with...

  2. Have you ever read the book "Llama Llama, Mad at Mama?" If should. That's all I will say.

  3. I am laughing so hard at this post, I HATE grocery shopping with Navy! I procrastinate for so long before i go! And why do the old people always stare? Good luck with your next trip! :)

  4. Feel your pain! Try it with two sometime or don't and remain the slightest bit sane. I usually shop at 6 or 7 in the morning before kids are up.

  5. Love having a 14 year old {who happens to homeschool} for just this purpose! And the fact that our grocery store here on the island has only 12 mini aisles makes it easy too!

  6. Ever heard of ordering your groceries online and having them delivered? I would bet some company is doing this in your town...

  7. Boy do I hear ya sister, do I hear ya. Loved the story, you caught it well.

  8. Multipy and replenish, sounds easier then it actually is.

  9. be soooo glad that you didn't accidentally swipe your Health Savings Account card instead of your debit card, to which they could only refund everything back by 1. taking the item back out of the bag 2. finding the item on the mile long receipt 3. scanning the item only to find each and every time that it doesn't scan back in 4. upon discover of #3, MANUALLY entering the price of said item 5. crossing it off the receipt 6. putting it back on the conveyer belt to eventually be rescanned 7. repeat steps 1-5 about 70 more times.

    after waiting for all that to get done, then the whole order had to be rescanned. they really should have a cancel button for when you use the wrong credit card. but if it's credit and you swipe it...too late! it was horrid because it was a busy busy day and they had to shut down my lane for about a half an hour. BUT at least kendall was at home with daddy. the point being at least you didn't have to go through all that with the little guy :) hey there's always a bright side right?


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